2/15/13

To be honest, I have been struggling to accept the decisions some of the people close to me have been making. I feel like so many of the people I’m close to don’t realize how great they are and what they really deserve. I’m telling you, every close friend of mine has chosen to be with someone who is by no means good enough for them. I realize I’m not a part of their relationship and I don’t know what they’re like when I’m not around. I just feel like so much of what I see and hear is such a disappointment to me because I know they deserve so much better than what they are getting.

Today I came to realize, its not my place to judge. It’s not my place to decide what’s right for those around me. All I can do is tell my friends how I feel and then let it go. Going through life wishing you could make decisions for others is no way to live. Sometimes I think I know what’s best, but in the end do I really? I can’t guarantee that every decision I make is the right one for me, so how can I guarantee that what I think is right for others is actually right for them?

Everybody deserves to have an opinion but in the end the people who make the decisions are the ones who have to deal with the consequences, not me. I need to accept the fact that people around me are probably going to make a lot of mistakes… I’m going to try to be okay with that.

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2/11/13

Let me start by saying, I am blessed. I have a great life, with a family and friends that love me. My life hasn’t always been easy, but in the end I’m thankful for God giving me the life that I have.

I have been thinking lately about how ridiculous it is that our society puts so much pressure and importance on relationships at such a young age. Shouldn’t the fact that even the kids in elementary school feel like they need to have boyfriends and girlfriends tell us something? I think that screws so many kids up. Kids should be brought up in a world where that’s not important. No matter what age you are, having a romantic relationship isn’t going to fix all your problems. I think young people for some reason are brought up thinking that’s going to help somehow. I imagine a world where the idea of dating doesn’t even cross people’s minds until adulthood, (yes, I realize hormones come into the picture during the pre-teen/teenage years) where everyone is just friends and theres not that added level of pressure. Kids have enough to worry about as youth, they shouldn’t need or want to have a boyfriend/girlfriend to feel normal.

I think the reason this bothers me so much is because I was one of those kids. I knew so many kids growing up that had relationships, and I wanted one too. I was always nervous around boys because in the back of my mind I would think there was always the potential of us dating and that scared me. I’m 21 years old now, I haven’t had any really serious relationships yet. I’ve never been in love, and I’m still happy. As much as I like the idea of a boyfriend, I don’t need one. When I finally meet someone that I can see a future with that’ll be great, but I’m not going to live my life waiting for the perfect guy.

It’s terrible to me that our society makes people think they need a guy/girl to be happy. Let me just tell you, you don’t. Maybe I find it so easy to not worry about it anymore because I have God in my life. Maybe I’ve just realized that I need to be happy with myself before I can truly let anyone know the real me, and until then it’s not going to workout with anyone no matter how great they are. I guess I can’t really define the reason for it not being a big deal to me anymore. I just think everyone needs to get to a place where they’re okay being alone. If you find someone who makes you happy, great! But make sure you’re being 100% yourself, don’t hide or change who you are for someone. Be great on your own, and then find someone who makes you want to be even greater.